Sinking further and further

My hair has been falling out due to the amount of stress I have been feeling lately. Not only is my personal life in deep turmoil, but I am constantly feeling like I am going backwards in regards to my finances. I went to the check cashing place yesterday because I don't have enough money for gas in the truck. I didn't borrow the maximum like I used to, only $100. I called and requested that my replacement credit cards be sent to me (I cut them up a while back). My savings is gone which is why I must rely on credit.

I only plan on using the cards for gas and groceries...not for eating out! December is a crazy month because I get two paychecks in the same week (next week) and won't get paid again until January 15th. So it's really important that I get my life in order! I won't be giving any Christmas presents this year, and I wanted to decorate but all I could do is buy a wreath that was on sale. It's quite nice actually and brings a smile to my face when I walk to the door.

Because of my situation right now, I've decided not to attempt to automate my other finances at this time. I don't want to risk getting overdraft fees in my checking account. I've been trying to work my budget for the upcoming pay periods and am struggling with it. The way it's looking now, I will have to be a starving hermit in order to survive. I'm going to continue playing with it and post it soon. I've started back using iCal to track my finances. I slacked off last month and because of that forgot about my car and rental insurance that is automatically debited from my checking. My account was -$330 because I didn't use my calendar!

I've been thinking about goals too. One main goal is to get rid of this truck! I'm confused because I know that if I keep making payments for around a year, I can trade it in and get a much better interest rate than what I am paying now. When I think about the amount of gas it takes it makes me want to try to trade it in now. I know that if I am patient I can get a much better deal later. I wish I would have stuck with the first car I wanted all along, a new Honda Accord. Then I definitely would not be in this mess. Why did I let other people influence me?

Other goals include building my savings account up again, getting a part-time job, and getting a Roth IRA. I have to work on making these goals more specific, but these are the things that I want to change most.